10 Top Signs You’re Living Rural
10. All you have to do to get your picture in the paper is graduate from taxidermy school.
9. Schools close for opening day of deer season.
8. There are official state highway signs pointing to towns that consist of two houses, one of which burned down years ago.
7. Directions will include landmarks such as “where Joe Imler’s barn used to be,” and “out past Hattie Landis’ daughter-in-law’s boyfriend’s hunting cabin.”
6. People can identify cattle by name. Other people’s cattle.
5. The majority of items in the “Police Blotter” section of the paper involve eggs or BB guns.
4. A high school graduating class of 80 students shares 15 last names.
3. Houses are identified by the family who used to live in them, as in “You live in the Gill house, right?” when you bought the house from Mr. Gill in 1972. And during the 40 years Mr. Gill lived there, it was known as the Snyder house.
2. The newspaper runs special editions during Farm Show Week.
1. Dean Koontz is known primarily for being related to the guy whose 3-year-old sow won Best of Show at the County Fair.